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It doesn’t matter that I move slower today. What matters is that I keep moving forward!
when we push too hard
Last week I pushed myself harder than I have in a very long time. Due to the battle with fatigue the last several months, I have started learning to prioritize the things in my life that really need to be done. Also, when they need to be done. Do the dishes really have to be washed tonight, right after dinner? Or, because I have worked and had doctors appointments and my brain and body are screaming at me to rest, can they wait until the morning when I have a fresh start?
I started physical therapy last week, add to that a dentist appointment and my son had appointments I needed to attend and to top it all off an afternoon with a friend. Every day, Monday through Friday, I was in the car and went somewhere. By Friday I was exhausted but my brother was picking me up to take me to PT. We stopped for breakfast and then went to the store for a few before my appointment.
Since I don’t have a diagnosis, I keep pushing myself, hoping that my body will react like it use to. Over the years I’ve done 5 half marathons and I remember being able to build up my stamina and strength. It was so amazing to me the first time I trained, because one week I would do 5 miles and then the next I was so excited to complete 7 and not feel terrible. Then 9 and 11 and then would come race day and I would cross the finish line at 13.1 miles! As a walker, not a runner, my motto became “Forward is a Pace!”. No matter how slow we went, at least we were still moving forward.
These days I am trying to remember this motto for other reasons. Because no matter how hard I try to build up my stamina and strength, it doesn’t seem to get better. When I push too hard, it can take me days of sleep and rest to recover.
That was the case this past weekend. Without any help from medications, I slept over 10 hours Friday night and took an early morning nap shortly after waking up for another hour or so. Spent the day with my brain not wanting to cooperate. So I had a hard time walking and talking, which put me on the couch for the better part of the day Saturday. Took my meds Saturday night and slept another 8 straight hours. Waking up Sunday, I hoped I was restored and able to catch up on some work. Only to find I was still tired. Spent the day doing some odds n ends and resting in between. Quite grateful that this beautiful Monday morning I woke up with a 3/4 full tank of energy and hoping I don’t use it up too fast.
forward is a pace
My point in all of this. While I am not able to do as much these days and I may move slower. What matters is that I’m not giving up. What matters, is that I’m still moving forward. I am still trying to live my best life possible!
So when life throws you an obstacle, climb that mountain! Knock down the barricade! Crawl over the hill if you have to. Whatever it takes, just keep moving forward! Don’t look back, cause you’re not going that way!